This letter is to inform you that I am a huge fan of Rice Crispies. Every time I am procrastinating on working on a major project, I am sure to eat at least one box of your product, whether I am hungry or not.
Right now, I am currently seeking a corporate sponsor so that I might tour indefinitely until I am killed at a truck stop or by my own poor eating habits. Perhaps we can combine my apparent insatiable need for your product with brand promotion by allowing me to drive some sort of "Crispiemobile" across America, delighting children, the elderly, and other folks who enjoy the texture of bug-shaped crisp rice. Please have your People contact my People at your earliest convenience. Please also be informed that my People are not really "people" so much as a pug who occasionally uses a table to brace himself to stand upright.
with sincere best,
Cassie J. Sneider
proprietor, The Cassie J. Sneider Fanclub INTERNATIONAL